On the self-awareness dynamics of long-distance relationships

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I'm writing about the self-awareness dynamics of long-distance relationships: because, guess what, it has one.

Like Covid 19, long-distance relationships create new life situations in a world of familiar, comfort-zone patterns. This is a camp of self-awareness in itself, and knowing the results of the research on the increase in aggression, abuse, domestic violence, it is an indication that we need to talk about this issue, give handholds, suggestions, tools.

In the absence of coping strategies, we are left with self-protection mechanisms based on strong self-awareness. With a healthy psyche, it is possible, after the initial shock of distance, to begin to structure our time.

As we realize how good company we are keeping for ourselves, we can focus on the "core of desire" lying dormant within us instead of focusing on the absence. Our essentiality, our secure, inner core, usually surfaces in times of crisis. In those moments when time stands still, the sounds of the outside world cease, and all we hear are the beats of our heartbeats on our eardrums. Through meditation or breathing therapy, this state of consciousness can be induced and the released inner source of spiritual energy can be used to regenerate the mental processes.

With this technique, not only can we glimpse the layers of our personality, but we can also strengthen our self-esteem, getting closer to our essence: it will be a truly exciting journey.

Through our inner journeys, we learn what the other means to us, on the physical and spiritual planes.

• We can check how much we are attached, how much our relationship has gone grey.

• Whether we can talk about our day with sparkling eyes on Facetime in the evening, or whether our words are just a voice of complaint.
• Are we able to structure our time apart and spend it in meaningful activities?
• Can we listen, understand, support, believe, encourage?

To do this smoothly we need to be ok with ourselves. Calm, balanced, with clear thoughts.

Budget matters too, I for one prefer low budget quality time-filling activities, I don't know about you.

Here's my home-made recipe, try any element of it for what it's worth:

1. Be humane! The first time Father talked about the daily good deed was in the Sunday school, at least that's my first memory of it. Every day you should have a good deed, either for others or for yourself. Treat yourself also with decency, with love: you are precious!
2. Support others! When you make a transfer transaction through the app, you can donate to people in need with just one click. Declare your 1% donation to foundations and churches. You can also donate to people in need at Vinted, or give your shopping cart to someone else after shopping at the mall.
3. Protect the environment! Just make sure you use a textile bag, a washable textile bag for vegetables. Collect rubbish selectively, don't print unnecessarily, turn off lights when not needed, don't open windows when heating, take the bus when possible and walk instead of driving.
4. Breathe, instead of anxiety! I keep myself busy, reading 20 pages a day, listening to audiobooks, podcasts, learning a new language for 15 minutes a day (we live in the age of apps), blogging, talking to clients. I meditate twice a day.
5. In a healthy body. Food will be the subject of another post, very important, as well as freedom from harmful addictions, but more on that another time. Exercise, four times a day, or more, at home, outdoors, or in the gym. Also app mountains: pilates, yoga, body shaping, 30 day challenge, zumba, swimming, tennis, cycling, running, walking, Nordic walking and I could go on and on, choose what you like. If you can find a trusted training partner, you've got a winner. Until you develop the intrinsic motivation to produce endorphins, a training partner is worth its weight in gold. For me, the second time is the hardest because I'm all achy from muscle soreness and I'm not committed yet. The other problem is overexertion: if you get carried away with enthusiasm you can do yourself more harm than good, less regurarly is better than more once. Oh and warm up before and stretch after. Always!
6. Collect experiences! Be active every weekend, plan your activities. Find a (almost) free exhibition (e.g. Ludwig Museum), go to the theatre (e.g. Béla Pintér's company), go to a concert (Veronika Harcsa plays excellent jazz music). Admit to yourself that with a little mindfulness, you can easily divert the money you spend on excess into cultural consumption. Visit the elderly, if you are lucky you will find elderly relatives who are lonely, if not just look for a church-run home for the elderly where you live, they will welcome you talking or reading to them, especially if their family is far away or there is no one to visit them. Plant a flower and grow it! I have no garden, but I do have a small balcony, I bought annual flower seeds for a few hundred forints, which I planted in my three balcony boxes this April, as I do every spring, and like in Little Prince, I take responsibility for my roses. I watch it grow, grow beautiful. Notice and photograph the unexpected beauties. Share real content instead of appearances. It feels liberating, try it!
7. Learn something new every day!
   

8. "Speak only if it improves upon the silence" Mahatma Gandhi

If you'd like to learn how to structure your time, join our team!

Of course, we can also speak English at the meetings, no problem.

Simply click on KAPCSOLAT to leave a message, I look forward to it or write an email to us: driveandflow@gmail.com 

driveandflow_breathe!